You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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