Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
