She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
