i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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