Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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