I got chris browned last night
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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