look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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