I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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