Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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