So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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