Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
