I didn't shave. On purpose
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
