why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
