Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
