Soap is not a condiment
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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