its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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