i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
