i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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