Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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