No awkward lesbian experiences without me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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