I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
