Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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