apparently the secret to your success is patron
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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