I have demons in me.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
