Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
