Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
