this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
