ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want her autograph on my taint
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize