Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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