i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
