watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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