drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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