Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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