Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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