can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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