Kiss
Puke
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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