so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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