The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
