i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
