I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
