I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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