My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
