wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
