we're blogging at a bar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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