oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
