If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
