1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
