this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize