she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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