He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
