Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems