i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex