But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES