so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner