So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage