if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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