4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
