You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
