at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
