you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How's work?
Spinning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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