His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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