I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize