I hate all girls vehemently.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
