So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
