I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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